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Creating jobs…in Bed

There is an urban legend that every fortune found in a fortune cookie can be easily modified by simply adding the term, “in bed.” As in: “Good health will be yours for a long time” becomes “Good health will be yours for a long time in bed.”

Whether the legend is true can only be determined if one could find a fortune for which this trick does not work. While it is impossible to confirm the legend, it can be falsified.

Likewise, the Messiah has found that he can modify any already existing campaign promise in such a way as to make it appears he is actually responding to a fairly miserable jobs situation. He does thia by adding the term, “Creating jobs by…”

You can test this at home. Here are some nonsense phrases, simply add the words, “Creating jobs by…” to these phrases at your next social event, and watch your reputation for being a deep thinker spread.

  • Strengthening Main Street
  • Encouraging Business Competitiveness
  • Rebuilding America’s Infrastructure
  • Paving the Road for Small Business
  • Exports
  • Innovation Agenda

See how easy that was? Now you are an expert on jobs.

The great thing about this trick is that it doesn’t require the Messiah actually do anything to eliminate unemployment – that would require an original thought, and that strange creature exist no where among his advisers and probably not in all of Washington. What it does do is convey to you how really really complicated all this jobs stuff is. And, once you understand how really reallywe do mean really really really – complicated it is to get an economy to cough up 26 million jobs, perhaps you will go away and leave him alone.

He is very busy right now killing wedding guests in Afghanistan, and it is taking up all of his attention.

  1. Maria Gibeault
    December 4, 2009 at 11:08 pm

    Oh come on, there are only 11,000 families this month that are wondering how their credit card bills will be paid, their mortgages/rent will be paid, their car payment, (to invest in our governments majority share) their next meal. I feel like change is just around the corner.

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